I can't contain the goodness of the Lord in my life... I can't help but to cry while I am writing this... So, to you who is reading this, please know that the Lord has never left you and never will. In whatever situation you may be in, please know that the Lord loves you too much to see you hurt and in pain, that's why please have patience and wait for Him, He is just in the buisness of turning your situation into your favor! Please know that He can use even people that don't know you to bless you, that He can use even those unthinkable things to make you feel loved! Please just wait...
And if you are in need, though I may not know you... Let me help you in whatever ways, at the side of my blog you can see my FB account and my email address... In whatever way, please know that I want to help you... Because I myself I've experienced to be helped by someone that I don't even imagine this person would do... And, if you let me, I want to do the same with you...
For anything, I am really at your service...God loves you and I love you dearly!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
words left unsaid
"True love isn't just expressed in passionately whispered words or an intimate kiss or an embrace; but love is also expressed in self-control, patience, even words left unsaid." - from J.H.'s IKDG
I don't know what was in JH's mind when he wrote this phrase but he really captured the meaning of Love with just few words, with actually the exact few words!
I have never understood fully this concept until God sent me 3 disturbing dreams that made me complain for a week. The Lord was asking me to do something specifically very hard and yet wanted me to pray for that person. It was unfair! Not until I realized that maybe He was just teaching me to love that person in the way He wanted me. Through prayer. Just through prayers... I didn't pray ofcourse, as hard headed I am... And honestly I am not. I am really trying to avoid that. I just don't want me to be distracted though I know this is very selfish from me when this person, no matter what, is constantly present when I need someone. But now lil by lil I am learning to pray for that person. Learning just to pray. Without expecting, without showing anything, without caring that much, without the things I used to do in short.
I kept myself so quite not even trying to fix things (which is a miracoulous things for me). I presented my self in a professional way as much as I could. I tried to hide what's really going on in me. I tried to ignore everything and begun to accept things as they came. I kept myself silent though hurting and doubting.
There were and are many questions rolling in my mind, too much "words left undaid."
I'm not telling that I'm good in loving. oh no... If there is somedoby really good in loving is just and only God.
I don't really know what I am feeling, this is so new. Maybe, I'm just glad that the Lord, the most expert One in love matters that I ever know, is personally teaching me how to love a person the way He wants me to love...
A bit pressuring, a bit difficult. God's concept of love is so deep that sometimes the things that He wants me to do and say are so ungraspable. He makes me say and feel things that are hurting. And if somebody would tell me those things I would just burst out in to tears!
*To you,
you accepted the challenge first, and pushed me to accpet it aswell knowing it will benefit us and many. I thank you now because you didn't give up on me to make me understand all those things. I owe you alot.
Accept my sorries thought you'll never know that I am, but I believe that the Lord will speak in your heart for me.
I just love you the way the Lord is teaching me to. I secretly love you. I love you in prayer.
I don't know what was in JH's mind when he wrote this phrase but he really captured the meaning of Love with just few words, with actually the exact few words!
I have never understood fully this concept until God sent me 3 disturbing dreams that made me complain for a week. The Lord was asking me to do something specifically very hard and yet wanted me to pray for that person. It was unfair! Not until I realized that maybe He was just teaching me to love that person in the way He wanted me. Through prayer. Just through prayers... I didn't pray ofcourse, as hard headed I am... And honestly I am not. I am really trying to avoid that. I just don't want me to be distracted though I know this is very selfish from me when this person, no matter what, is constantly present when I need someone. But now lil by lil I am learning to pray for that person. Learning just to pray. Without expecting, without showing anything, without caring that much, without the things I used to do in short.
I kept myself so quite not even trying to fix things (which is a miracoulous things for me). I presented my self in a professional way as much as I could. I tried to hide what's really going on in me. I tried to ignore everything and begun to accept things as they came. I kept myself silent though hurting and doubting.
There were and are many questions rolling in my mind, too much "words left undaid."
I'm not telling that I'm good in loving. oh no... If there is somedoby really good in loving is just and only God.
I don't really know what I am feeling, this is so new. Maybe, I'm just glad that the Lord, the most expert One in love matters that I ever know, is personally teaching me how to love a person the way He wants me to love...
A bit pressuring, a bit difficult. God's concept of love is so deep that sometimes the things that He wants me to do and say are so ungraspable. He makes me say and feel things that are hurting. And if somebody would tell me those things I would just burst out in to tears!
*To you,
you accepted the challenge first, and pushed me to accpet it aswell knowing it will benefit us and many. I thank you now because you didn't give up on me to make me understand all those things. I owe you alot.
Accept my sorries thought you'll never know that I am, but I believe that the Lord will speak in your heart for me.
I just love you the way the Lord is teaching me to. I secretly love you. I love you in prayer.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Sukdulan Biyaya
"Sa panahon na tayo ay mabaho, sa panahon na tayo ay palpak, sa panahon na tayo ay marumi at walang nagmamahal natutunan tayong yakapin at halikan ng pa-ulit ulit ng Dios Amang nag mamahal sa bawat isa sa atin."
Lazarus Awakening
Have you ever felt like no body appreciates you? Or better like the people that you expect to love, they seem not to love you? Like the people you hoped they cared, they seem not to...?
You believe that God loves the world… But sometimes you wonder if He truly loves you.
Alright! I had this burden in my heart, and I don't deny to still having it. This was the thing that God wanted me to deal with, and I am still dealing with it. Two weeks ago I really felt this strong burden, that no body really loves and cares for me. The people I hoped that they would do, seemed so indifferent and doing the exact opposite thing. I was in distress. I remember one Saturday, I was eating my lunch, and right there, I tried to hide my tears from Ma because I really felt unloved. After eating I ran to my room and cried in pain to the Lord asking to take away that burden. The more I was asking to take it away, the more my heart was getting heavier.
But there I have been reminded of His great Love, that if I would try to define and describe it I would lessen its very essence and I would just terribly fail.
God led me to read the book I bought when I was in Canada. Its title is "Lazarus Awakening". And thank God, He spoke through the story of the dead man, yet the man Jesus loves the most!
For many of us, moving the truth of God’s love from our heads to our hearts is a lifelong process. As we consider our inadequacies or grieve our shattered dreams, we find it difficult to believe that God cares for us personally.
Jesus loves you apart from anything you accomplish, apart from anything you bring. Just as He called Lazarus forth to new life, Jesus wants to free you to live fully in the light of His love, unbound from the graveclothes of fear, regret, and self-condemnation.
Hei, you... LOVE is calling your name :)
You believe that God loves the world… But sometimes you wonder if He truly loves you.
Alright! I had this burden in my heart, and I don't deny to still having it. This was the thing that God wanted me to deal with, and I am still dealing with it. Two weeks ago I really felt this strong burden, that no body really loves and cares for me. The people I hoped that they would do, seemed so indifferent and doing the exact opposite thing. I was in distress. I remember one Saturday, I was eating my lunch, and right there, I tried to hide my tears from Ma because I really felt unloved. After eating I ran to my room and cried in pain to the Lord asking to take away that burden. The more I was asking to take it away, the more my heart was getting heavier.
But there I have been reminded of His great Love, that if I would try to define and describe it I would lessen its very essence and I would just terribly fail.
God led me to read the book I bought when I was in Canada. Its title is "Lazarus Awakening". And thank God, He spoke through the story of the dead man, yet the man Jesus loves the most!
For many of us, moving the truth of God’s love from our heads to our hearts is a lifelong process. As we consider our inadequacies or grieve our shattered dreams, we find it difficult to believe that God cares for us personally.
Jesus loves you apart from anything you accomplish, apart from anything you bring. Just as He called Lazarus forth to new life, Jesus wants to free you to live fully in the light of His love, unbound from the graveclothes of fear, regret, and self-condemnation.
Hei, you... LOVE is calling your name :)
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
agent Bartowski
Lately I'm so in with this teleserie. It is actually my bestfriend's fault. He kept on talking about that long time ago and just because during this days I'm home doing nothing, I decided to give a try to this teleserie. I am now watching Season 3 and I just started last week! Yes! I became addicted to this. You should try it! This is one of the best teleserie I ever watched. Chuck Bartowski is the title.
Chuck Bartowski works at the Buy More, a simple guy but very special: he is the Intersect (he has all CIA's secrets in his mind) and because of that he is protected by agent Casey and Sarah. Sarah's covarage was Chuck's girlfriend. They, in short faked a relationship in order for them to protect Chuck the more. To make believe others they acted as a real couple; but... Chuck and Sarah really fel inlove. Something started quite as a game ended in something deep and serious. Work binded them, but more than that there were feelings and love. As Chuck grew and became expert controlling the intersect the CIA begun to train him as a real spy.
And the story goes on...
Chuck and Sarah's love story. I want to focus on this.
Eventually they had loved and grew feeling for each other. But as most of the time they reminded each other that was just a coverage, that in reality they are just co-workers and there was nothing between them but work alone. Feelings kept mixing with the work and most of the time the work itself paid for that. There was an instance in which Sarah proposed Chuck to ran away and start a new life, their life together, but Chuck denied thinking of what the Itersect could do for many people. And they just kept on going and doing their works ignoring their feelings as they keep always reminding themselves that "a true spy does not fall in love".
Sometimes, many times we are led to desicions between something you really want and like and love and ever desired and something you know it's good for others and you know that it's your very call.
Therefore feelings are telling you some things, you reason other things. What to choose? You don't know. You try to compromise, to give some justifications. But nothing. It's confused more than before!
We as Christians are always led to choose God's very will, which is in contrast most of the time with the things "you really want and like and love and ever desired". That's why, after seeking God's will, you still choose to do what is the best for you though you don't really like it. Though sometimes there is nothing to do with you, though it will just hurt you and cause you pain. But you still courageously take that path because you know that it will lead you toward everlasting rewards... You choose to obey to His voice, with your eyes closed.
And as you keep your journey, there are points in your life that makes you think. Why am I making everything so difficult for me? When actually I can follow what I really want.
I've been crying to the Lord lately. I kept myself in silence and let my heart speak before Him asking these things. Asking why I can't be just for a second weak, just for a second do what I really want, just for a second stop and forget my responsability and enjoy my life as every twenty years old girls do!?
And right there, I've been reminded of my purpose. I've been reminded of my dreams for the Ministry of God, I've been reminded that true life is found when you lose it! That one day I and you will be reaping all the pain and everything and say "It was worth it". That if I seek first Him everything will be added. That I can never out give Him. That He loves me. And that I love Him too.
Truth is that we don't need any other reason, any other purpose, any other inspiration because His love is inspiring enough, is a sufficient reason and a valid purpose to follow the call of our lives and simply obey Him.
Chuck Bartowski works at the Buy More, a simple guy but very special: he is the Intersect (he has all CIA's secrets in his mind) and because of that he is protected by agent Casey and Sarah. Sarah's covarage was Chuck's girlfriend. They, in short faked a relationship in order for them to protect Chuck the more. To make believe others they acted as a real couple; but... Chuck and Sarah really fel inlove. Something started quite as a game ended in something deep and serious. Work binded them, but more than that there were feelings and love. As Chuck grew and became expert controlling the intersect the CIA begun to train him as a real spy.
And the story goes on...
Chuck and Sarah's love story. I want to focus on this.
Eventually they had loved and grew feeling for each other. But as most of the time they reminded each other that was just a coverage, that in reality they are just co-workers and there was nothing between them but work alone. Feelings kept mixing with the work and most of the time the work itself paid for that. There was an instance in which Sarah proposed Chuck to ran away and start a new life, their life together, but Chuck denied thinking of what the Itersect could do for many people. And they just kept on going and doing their works ignoring their feelings as they keep always reminding themselves that "a true spy does not fall in love".
Sometimes, many times we are led to desicions between something you really want and like and love and ever desired and something you know it's good for others and you know that it's your very call.
Therefore feelings are telling you some things, you reason other things. What to choose? You don't know. You try to compromise, to give some justifications. But nothing. It's confused more than before!
We as Christians are always led to choose God's very will, which is in contrast most of the time with the things "you really want and like and love and ever desired". That's why, after seeking God's will, you still choose to do what is the best for you though you don't really like it. Though sometimes there is nothing to do with you, though it will just hurt you and cause you pain. But you still courageously take that path because you know that it will lead you toward everlasting rewards... You choose to obey to His voice, with your eyes closed.
And as you keep your journey, there are points in your life that makes you think. Why am I making everything so difficult for me? When actually I can follow what I really want.
I've been crying to the Lord lately. I kept myself in silence and let my heart speak before Him asking these things. Asking why I can't be just for a second weak, just for a second do what I really want, just for a second stop and forget my responsability and enjoy my life as every twenty years old girls do!?
And right there, I've been reminded of my purpose. I've been reminded of my dreams for the Ministry of God, I've been reminded that true life is found when you lose it! That one day I and you will be reaping all the pain and everything and say "It was worth it". That if I seek first Him everything will be added. That I can never out give Him. That He loves me. And that I love Him too.
Truth is that we don't need any other reason, any other purpose, any other inspiration because His love is inspiring enough, is a sufficient reason and a valid purpose to follow the call of our lives and simply obey Him.
changes challenges opportunities
I keep on thinking all over again about that... I can't deny the fact that I am worrying but I am giving everything to the Lord... This is another step on the water. A step of faith toward God's perfect will.
Will I be ever able? Am I the one for that? Do I fit for that? I don't know. I am not able!
Questions of doubt mixed with answers full of fear.
Lord, take me wherever I will please and honor you the most! Give us strength to do Your will, as we follow every single instruction and submit to the lead of the Holy Spirit.
BE GLORIFIED, this is the prayer of our hearts...
Will I be ever able? Am I the one for that? Do I fit for that? I don't know. I am not able!
Lord, take me wherever I will please and honor you the most! Give us strength to do Your will, as we follow every single instruction and submit to the lead of the Holy Spirit.
BE GLORIFIED, this is the prayer of our hearts...
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Home Visit
Thank you for visiting me at home... You surely are the extension of God's tender love... :)
Saturday, October 22, 2011
bronchitis
Just got home from the Hospital. This morning as I woke up I blew out blood. Ofcourse Mama and everyone were panicing - I might understand them, because it was the second time. We ran to the Hospital and, thank God, they assisted me quickly. The doctor found that I got bronchitis!
I won't be able to go to church today I guess.. Mama doesn't want me to... I'll surely miss the CYN!
Thanks to my lovely Friends for the tender care..
I won't be able to go to church today I guess.. Mama doesn't want me to... I'll surely miss the CYN!
Thanks to my lovely Friends for the tender care..
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
a look in the past
I took some of my time to read again my past posts. And I just realised how selfish I was. A blog full of ME, I, MY wants, MY desires... The time to change has come! :) ... As I discovered the purpose of my living, a purpose worth dying for I must say that the focus itself changes!
If before my focus was on the thing I wanted, I desired the most and my future husband (HAHA!), now the focus becomes my generation, my nation, my God and my family...
As God taught me to lean on Him alone, little by little His palns became so clear. He begun to wishper into my heart the things He wanted me to do, He begun to unveil my eyes to see more the big picture.
My older posts makes me really laugh! Especially those posts in which I was blogging about my "Love Life" (if I can call it so...) But the thing that makes me laugh the more is the fact that now, September 6, 2011 I can boldly say that I don't care anymore about that!!! Isnt it funny? HEHE. I don't care if one day will I be getting married or if one day I would be able to meet The Guy. (Oh, before the enemy blineded me so much about this..) It sounds crazy and uncommon from Monica, yes I know... But...
It is really great how God makes you realise of the things that really matter and makes you set aside all those things that eventually are just secondary.
Now that I found the purpose of my life I would not exchange it for any other thing! This purpose is my call. Everyday becomes clear and everyday I live makes me want to really fight for it no matter what it takes. A purpose that is worth dying for. A purpose that motivates me to do more, to strive for more and conquer more! A purpose that made me understand heppenings in the past. A purpose that inspire me not to give up.
It is a great privilege to be part and be counted as a mighty warrior in the army of the Almighty! It is an honor to serve my generation and my God! :)
If before my focus was on the thing I wanted, I desired the most and my future husband (HAHA!), now the focus becomes my generation, my nation, my God and my family...
As God taught me to lean on Him alone, little by little His palns became so clear. He begun to wishper into my heart the things He wanted me to do, He begun to unveil my eyes to see more the big picture.
My older posts makes me really laugh! Especially those posts in which I was blogging about my "Love Life" (if I can call it so...) But the thing that makes me laugh the more is the fact that now, September 6, 2011 I can boldly say that I don't care anymore about that!!! Isnt it funny? HEHE. I don't care if one day will I be getting married or if one day I would be able to meet The Guy. (Oh, before the enemy blineded me so much about this..) It sounds crazy and uncommon from Monica, yes I know... But...
It is really great how God makes you realise of the things that really matter and makes you set aside all those things that eventually are just secondary.
Now that I found the purpose of my life I would not exchange it for any other thing! This purpose is my call. Everyday becomes clear and everyday I live makes me want to really fight for it no matter what it takes. A purpose that is worth dying for. A purpose that motivates me to do more, to strive for more and conquer more! A purpose that made me understand heppenings in the past. A purpose that inspire me not to give up.
It is a great privilege to be part and be counted as a mighty warrior in the army of the Almighty! It is an honor to serve my generation and my God! :)
Monday, September 5, 2011
Hola Barcelona :)
I was very hesitating to go to Barcelona. My GirlFriends were all either at vacation with their respective families or very busy with something else. I don't know for what crazy motive I txted Ate M. and asked her to list me. I didn't want to go, infact I prepared my bag the night before. I thought I would just have a major boredom. But it revealed different! :) Can you relate when I say that God is full of surprises? Well, God indeed surprised me! Starting from the bus heading toward Barcelona. I had a very inspiring talk with a friend (the one you can see in the picture). It was like AGES that I had not conversation like that one! Many other funny and great memories took place, too good to record, but too personal.
As my friend said, "Barcelona experience was one of the happiest moment in 2011." Likewise! I've never laughed and enjoyed a vacation that much...!!! :)
Ofcourse, I always owe everything to my Master! He is so good.. I know in my heart He was the One who planned everything...
In Barcelona I lost one of my favourite earing but I found again my Spiritual Friend! :)
living my CANADIAN dream
A dream come true! An aswered prayer!!! :) Credits to God that makes all things possible, that I had the chance to step my feet on Canadian ground... More than the fellowship I had with the CYN international, more than the new friendships established, more than the delicious foods, more than the shopping malls, more than all these things, I will never forget the wonderful things God did in my life during the convention...
I had my breakthrough! The breakthrough I was longging and waiting for... All this things happened all by the grace of God and thanks also to the life of my very own S. P. (It was really a relief talking and meeting her after a year..)
During Sis. Edith's session I simply found myself on my knees giving everything to the Lord. As in EVERYTHING. Even those things I thought I would never let go of... Yes! I did it... :) He did it! Though it was really painful (believe me, I've never cried that hard to the Lord...) I believe it was the very will of the Almighty!
Canada has been a memorable place for me. Why? Because there I've learnt how to trust God's plans more than I trust my plans. I've learnt how to love Him more than I love myself. There God taught me how to depend upon on Him alone.
Canada will be always remembered as the place where I broke my Alabaster Jar...
Therefore I thank the Lord for the privilege and allowing me to worship Him :')
the return
It has been so long that I am not writing in here. And honestly I almost forget how to use Blogspot! To sum up my SUMMER 2011, I would choose the word AWSOME! :)
Yes! I thank God for this wonderful Summer He gave me. An unforgettable one! From my vacation in Canada with the Summit to my very relaxing OH YEAH vacation in Barcelona plus all the very dynamic church activities.
All praise goes out to Him!!! :) Thank you Lord!
Yes! I thank God for this wonderful Summer He gave me. An unforgettable one! From my vacation in Canada with the Summit to my very relaxing OH YEAH vacation in Barcelona plus all the very dynamic church activities.
All praise goes out to Him!!! :) Thank you Lord!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)